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King Of The Witches


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"This is the type of film that I feel lucky to have been able to see. As a collector and obscure film nerd in general, you come across hundreds of terrible films for every incredible film. It’s sort of draining. 

Ouch! is an early short from Mr Film Threat himself, Chris Gore. Assuming this is one of the things that Film Threat was made to distribute, along with the mixtapes, Squeal Of Death, etc etc. 

It runs just about 25 minutes and is pretty non stop action wise the whole way through. If you’ve seen Squeal Of Death, this has a very similar feel. The dialog all sounds dubbed in and the editing is almost cartoonish. Ouch! is definitely goofy, but not in the same way as Squeal Of Death. Ouch! takes a dark turn early on and maintains its misery until the end. 

The film opens with footage of children in a hospital crying and getting injected with some mystery drug. The footage is eerie, there’s a strange hand puppet creature that doesn’t really do anything. This intro really doesn’t have much to do with the film. The general plot is that a dude who’s kind of a slacker lives at home with his mom, sick of his shit, she tells him to get a job. In true slacker fashion he finds one of those human testing gigs that pays $500 a week. The testing that they’re doing just happens to be on a drug that makes you feel no pain. Warned by the doctors not to take more than suggested, the dude obviously doesn’t listen, and drinks the entire bottle. Excited about his new super powers, the dude decides to take them for a spin. He starts by turning his guitar up as high as it will go and playing until his face bleeds. When this isn’t enough, he climbs to the top of his roof and hurls himself off a half dozen times for an audience of his neighbors. His mother comes home while he’s doing this and breaks up the crowd. To show her how the extent of his power, he bludgeons himself with a hammer. This doesn’t really impress his mother. So he goes out on the town. Eventually ending up at a club where he cuts himself. Looking for the bathroom to clean up, he ends up in the ladies room where a girl gang is doing whatever girls do in bathrooms. When tell him to get out he explains that he just has a cut and wants to take care of it. The leader of the girls mishears him and he gets mauled for calling them cunts. Fed up with not being able to feel anything and, I’m assuming, worried that he can’t control himself anymore. The dude gets in touch with the people who did the test on him and pleads with them to reverse the effects. They tell him that he messed up and that it’s really his own fault. They’re also closing up shop in twenty four hours, so he’s screwed. But there is one thing they can try if he can get in there ASAP. The one solution they have is another poorly tested drug that will reverse the effects but make him feel all of the pain that he didn’t feel because of the other drug at once. “Sure, why not.” He goes in and gets it done. When he wakes up he’s battered and bruised, covered in bandages, surrounded by his loved ones. He says it wasn’t so bad and decides to look for a new job while he recovers. The film ends with him scouring the human testing section in the classifieds. 

Ouch! was so well done for what it was. Everyone acted really well and the way it was edited really tied everything together. It was dark and sort of mean, but had a weird slapstick tone to it that isn’t easy to describe or compare to anything else. Other than Squeal Of Death. It’s one of those films that actually feels the way that acid does. It’s not too extreme visually but everything has a weird fuzz to it and feels a thousand times more extreme than it really is. "